to be asymmetrical is human

humans are not symmetrical; our eyes are mismatched shapes, our legs are different lengths, our hair is wavier on one side than the other. to be messy is human. we are even attracted to odd numbers in design and art - a group of three is ascetically pleasing to the eye. our lives are not evenly aligned with one another, just as wealth, health and intelligence are not equally divided to every person. 

in all our messy humanity we seek order; despite the beauty chaos richly provides, humans also seek shelter and solace. sometimes this desire for organization goes too far and edges out the peace which it was sought to provide and we ignore our shared humanness in order to control others.

suicide doesn't care about socially constructed boundaries. yet, suicide is often hidden from view, relegated to those "in need of help" - never something a leader struggles with.

chaos is so feared that we forget to invite connection across the spectrums of society in order to maintain a vision of stability. the cost of this silence is that psychologists, pilots, and other professionals encounter perceived and established pressures to remain silent regarding issues such as addiction and mental health. the secrecy fed by such fears has the potential to block paths toward healing, allowing pain to thrive in the darkness. 

being a leader does not stop people from being human but oftentimes leaders are put on pedestals and worshipped as pure; this practice harms not only the leaders but those they are trying to lead as well. dedication to accepting humanness in a community takes practice and can be messy which is why it is often shirked for sterile procedures and rigid leadership strategies. 

some mental health providers, such as Bart Andrews, have spoken up in the midst of this "us and them" mentality. Andrews demonstrates how one leader in the psychology community can share his past experiences with suicide as well as lead others toward a place of healing.

modelling leadership as a circle versus a series of steps can be a helpful way to confront such divisions. in such a model there would be a group of co-leaders and at times certain leaders who feel stronger would be on the outer parts of the circle leading the community while their co-leaders would be on the inner part of the circle growing stronger and healing. as time goes on, the leaders switch from the outer to the inner, and vice versa.

in comparison to hierarchical steps with little to no fluidity between the levels, a circle model helps leaders commit not only to seeking improving the overall health of the group, but also to becoming healthier themselves. to be human is to asymmetrical, to be messy, and leaders who truly understand that and humbly wrestle with their own humanness are invaluable. coming out into the open about suicide is never easy, but a community willing to accept people in their humanness - one that invites people's vulnerability to share their broken areas - makes all the difference.

---